REAL ASS VOICEMAIL

So I’m going through my e-mails this morning, just like every morning, to see which early riser clients were trying to ruin my day from the very start. I get through the majority of the correspondences and I was pleasantly surprised to see that no one had yet to rain on my parade! FELT GREAT ABOUT IT. Then I see one that snuck in last night, with the VMAIL KISS OF DEATH label (label indicating it’s a voicemail), which for some reason borderline enrages me because I just hate voicemails. It’s like someone is making me do MORE work than ever necessary.

To me, the king of communication is E-MAIL. If we are e-mailing, and you CALL me, I am either expecting to be:

A. Alerted of an emergency – examples of this include: hostage situation, death, awkward social situation, etc.
or
B. Irrationally irritated throughout the whole conversation that I am convinced could have transpired VIA e-mail.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the phone needs to be utilized. I voluntarily dial out around 5-10 times a week, usually for one of the following reasons:

1. Calling my assistant’s extension to tell her something I need done… that for my own reasons could not be adequately conveyed VIA the written word
2. Speakerphone office party with a gal pal
3. The need to verbally scold someone so they know I mean it
4. Talking about anything illegal.

If you really had the need to call someone, and you arrived at their voicemail – I really wish it was standard protocol to just hang up and send an e-mail about what you have to say. Or try again later if necessary. ANYTHING BUT LEAVING A VOICEMAIL!

Anyways, back to my point – this voicemail was really left last night by someone who dialed the wrong number and I cracked up listening to it this morning!

VOICEMAIL: “I’m going to tell everyone I know”

2 thoughts on “REAL ASS VOICEMAIL”

  1. Yes, I made up this email just for commenting on Grey & White. I just had to revisit this as one of the best mid-day check ins we’ve ever had.

    WHY ARE YOU TREATING US LIKE THIS?! You guys SUCK!

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